Dealing with Rude Behavior in High Functioning Relationships: A Guide for Healthy Relationships

Are you in a high functioning relationship where your partner's rudeness is causing distress? Do you feel like you are the only one feeling hurt when things aren't going as planned? Here, we'll explore some strategies to address rudeness in relationships and how to protect yourself.

The Role of Communication and Empathy

High functioning relationships are often characterized by strong communication and emotional understanding. However, even in such relationships, toxicity and rudeness can arise.

Identifying the Problem

When your partner becomes rude and defensive when you express your feelings, it signals a deeper issue. Instead of acknowledging and apologizing, he feels hurt and may even escalate the situation. This behavior is not healthy and can escalate into more serious forms of abuse.

False Apologies or lack of accountability can be red flags. If your partner tries to minimize or brush off your feelings, this behavior might indicate a level of narcissism or immaturity.

Addressing the Behavior

It’s important to address this behavior constructively. Here are some steps you can take:

Clear Communication

Instead of crying or showing extreme reactions, focus on clear and consistent communication. Let your partner know exactly why certain behaviors are upsetting. Specificity and honesty are key:

Tell him clearly and distinctly what he did that upset you and why. Explain why it is hurtful and assert that you will not accept that behavior anymore.

Set boundaries and stick to them. If he continues to behave rudely, calmly remind him of your boundaries and leave if necessary. This shows that you are not willing to accept harmful behavior.

Understanding Emotional Triggers

Many times, partners are not in a good mind place to understand your hurt because they feel triggered, attacked, or threatened. Try changing how you express your feelings:

Replace “you” statements with “I.” Communicate directly, inviting him to care and understand your emotions without feeling blamed.

For example, instead of saying, “You made me feel hurt when you…,” say, “I felt hurt when you….” This approach invites empathy and understanding.

Seeking Support

Ultimately, if the behavior continues and shows a lack of empathy, it is important to consider your well-being and safety. Trust your instincts and seek support from friends, family, or professionals if needed.

Conclusion: High functioning relationships should be based on mutual respect and understanding. If your partner's ruder behavior continues, it may be time to reassess the relationship. Choose to protect your emotional well-being and seek harmony in your relationship.

Love Judith