Why Do People Push Others Away When Dealing with Depression

Struggling with depression can be a deeply painful and isolating experience. During this time, people often find themselves pushing away those they love. This act of distancing is not about a lack of love or a desire to hurt others. Instead, it is a complex and painful response to a need for space and understanding. Here, we explore the reasons behind this behavior and offer insights for those who feel pushed away during tough times.

Pushing Away Out of Guilt and Misunderstanding

Pushing others away can be an unconscious defense mechanism, especially when dealing with depression and mental health issues. For instance, someone with depression might feel extremely vulnerable and fragile. They are highly sensitive to any sign of judgment or misunderstanding, which can trigger intense feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Over time, this can lead to pushing away friends and family as a way to protect themselves from more hurt.

Personal Experience: I have started pushing away the people I love or those who love me because sometimes they completely fail to understand what I am going through. Every message that expresses concern or disappointment hurts me deeply and adds to my guilt. For two years, I have been in depression, and while people show sympathy, the situation has worsened because of the herd mentality that surrounds me. They try to make me believe that I overthink, am too emotional, and am weak.

Why People Should Not Overthink the Situation

It is important to note that pushing away loved ones is not a sign of love or caring. It is often a sign of frustration and the inability to communicate effectively. People who love you will be understanding and supportive, even if they do not fully grasp what you are going through. It is crucial to avoid overthinking and attributing negative intentions to their behavior.

Emotional Self-Reflection: Sometimes, I know that pushing away is not the right thing to do, but the overwhelming feeling of needing to protect them from my pain overpowers my judgment. It is a painful cycle, but it is essential to recognize that everyone is struggling in their own way. Empathy and understanding from loved ones can help break this cycle.

What Loved Ones Can Do to Help

For loved ones, it is important to be patient, understanding, and supportive. During depression, individuals often isolate themselves to concentrate on their mental health. Instead of trying to force your help, simply let them know that you are there if they need you. This small gesture can go a long way in providing comfort and support.

Supporting a Loved One with Depression: Try not to label or generalize the person’s behavior. Avoid statements like, "You're overthinking" or "You're just being emotional." Instead, focus on offering a listening ear and fostering an environment where they feel safe to express their feelings and emotions. Encourage them to seek professional help and remind them that mental health is as crucial as physical health.

Understanding and Empathy

Conclusion: Mental health struggles can be isolating, and pushing away loved ones often stems from a desire to protect them rather than a desire to hurt. It is important to understand and provide the right kind of support. For those who feel pushed away, know that you are loved and can emerge from this struggle stronger. For those who are concerned about a loved one, be patient, empathetic, and offer the support needed to help them through.

References

[1] American Psychological Association. (2020). Depression.

[2] National Institute of Mental Health. (2021). Depression.

[3] Mental Health America. (2022). Depression.