Why Do My Parents Not Respect My Opinions?

Understanding the Challenges in Parent-Child Communication

It can be quite frustrating when you feel that your parents do not recognize or value your opinions. There are several reasons why they might act this way, and understanding these can help bridge the gap between you and your parents.

Concern for Your Well-Being

Parents often want to protect their children from making mistakes. They believe that their experience can provide better insight into certain situations. While their intentions are well-meaning, this can often lead to parental overreach and a dismissal of your individual perspective.

Cultural or Generational Differences

Different cultures and generations may have varying views on the role of children in decision-making. Some parents might have been raised to believe that children should defer to their parents' authority, which can create a power imbalance in the relationship.

Communication Styles

Some parents may not realize they are dismissing your opinions. They might be more focused on their own views or may not know how to engage in open discussions. Learning effective communication strategies can help bridge this gap and foster a more respectful dialogue.

Desire for Control

Parents sometimes feel the need to maintain control over decisions, especially if they believe it is in your best interest. This can manifest in various ways, such as not respecting your opinions on matters that they deem important to their own authority or well-being.

Lack of Understanding

Parents might not fully understand your perspective or the reasons behind your opinions, leading them to overlook them. Taking the time to explain your reasoning can help them better understand and respect your viewpoints.

Expressing Yourself to Your Parents

If you feel comfortable, try expressing how you feel to your parents. Open communication can help bridge the gap and encourage more constructive discussions. Ask yourself if your parents have valid reasons to respect your opinions. Put yourself in their shoes or their situation; would you take the same opinion you're offering?

Personal Insights

For example, earlier this year, your sibling got into a relationship, and from the beginning, you never liked their partner. You always have negative feelings about this person, and your anxiety is very bad when you see them in person or have to spend time with them. You don't like spending time with this person, and when you tell your sibling not to bring their partner to your house, they do not respect your feelings and opinions. Your parents hear you and start screaming at you, saying you are crazy for not liking this person and that it is wrong not to like your sibling's partner. They also tell you that you don't have any rights to tell your sibling not to bring their partner to their house because it is not your house.

But I know that I am not crazy, and my feelings and opinions matter too. Before your sibling's relationship, you never argued, and you never had problems between you. After the relationship, your sibling's character started to become worse.

Meanwhile, when you say to them that spending time with family is different from spending time with a relationship and different from spending time with friends, and they understand that. Why is it hard for them to respect you and see your point of view to this specific problem?

I understand the difficulty of navigating these situations. If you ever decide to have your own family, you would not do to your kids what your parents did to you because it is bad.