Why Do Indian Grooms' Families Demand Dowries in Modern Weddings?

In contemporary Indian society, dowries continue to be a contentious and complex issue, with many traditions and cultural norms still influencing modern weddings. Dowries, historically seen as gifts from the bride's family to the groom's family, have evolved into a significant financial burden in many modern marriages. This essay explores the reasons behind this practice, drawing from both personal experiences and broader societal trends.

A Personal Insight from the Modern Era

One of the most common experiences in contemporary Indian marriages is the demand for dowries, often leading to substantial financial pressures. It is not uncommon for boys in both love and arranged marriages to request dowries amounting to millions of rupees. For example, a boy employed in an MNC company with minimal personal properties and an average family background might ask for 70 lakhs (approximately $1 million). However, this demand is often not based on genuine financial or future security needs but rather on the desire to enjoy the dowry and fulfill personal dreams.

The Exploitation of Female Dependence

Unfortunately, dowries continue to be a significant problem, even among those with respectable professions and educational backgrounds. Doctors, for instance, are not immune to the pressure of demanding dowries. A study found that even doctors of both genders are asking for dowries as high as 40 lakhs (approximately $680,000), often using false allegations to frame their demands. This practice not only perpetuates gender inequality but also leads to criminal activities involving the bride's parents.

Historical Context and Evolving Practices

Historically, dowries were given as voluntary gifts from the bride's family to help the newlyweds start their lives. However, this system has undergone significant changes over the centuries. Initially, dowries were not compulsory and were optional gifts, reflecting the bride's family's wealth and standing. However, as societal norms and economic pressures shifted, the demand for dowries became more formal and even compulsory.

From Voluntary Gifts to Mandatory Demands

Over time, the concept of dowry transformed from an optional gift to a compulsory demand. Many families started negotiating dowry amounts before the marriage, either in full or in installments. However, not all families could fulfill these demands due to economic constraints. This led to brides' families being asked for dowries even after the marriage, placing additional financial strain on them. Some individuals and families might misbehave with the wife to put pressure on the bride's family to meet these demands.

Today’s Dowry Demands and Their Impact

Modern dowry demands often stem from a combination of greed, financial dependency, and a patriarchal society. In many cases, the boy or his family demands a dowry because he does not have the means to support himself or his family. This becomes even more problematic when the dowry is not a voluntary gift but an expectation.

Rising Cases of Dowry-Related Crimes

The act of demanding dowries has become increasingly problematic, leading to numerous cases of dowry-related crimes. These crimes range from physical and emotional abuse to economic exploitation and, in severe cases, loss of life. The inability of the bride's family to meet these demands can result in hostility and even violence.

Conclusion: Addressing the Issues

Addressing the issue of dowry requires a multilayered approach, involving legal reforms, awareness campaigns, and social changes. While the practice of dowry is illegal in India, stricter enforcement of laws and greater public awareness can help reduce its prevalence. It is crucial to challenge the underlying beliefs and norms that perpetuate dowry demands and to empower women and ensure their autonomy and self-reliance.

By understanding the historical context, the evolution of dowry practices, and the current challenges, we can work towards a future where marriages are truly joyful and based on love, respect, and mutual support.