Why Choose Burial and a Ceremony After Death?

Deciding what to do with your body after it has served its purpose as a physical manifestation of your life has been a problem since humanity became self-aware. Even when a person is no longer active, they are not truly silent; their unique essence can bring joy and pleasure to the lives of those around them. The question then arises: what happens to the body after it no longer serves its purpose? Thankfully, with donations of organs and tissues for medical research, much of the useful matter is handed over to those still living. What remains, however, poses a question: what do we do with the physical remnants?

The answer often lies in the traditional practices of burial or cremation. These are not just physical acts but inclusive moments for the family and friends to gather for a celebration of the joy you brought into their lives.

My Experience with Burial and Cremation

I once worked at a cemetery, where my official job title was "grounds maintenance staff." During my time there, I witnessed a wide range of choices people made for their deceased loved ones, each with its own significance. Cremation offered three primary options: burial of the casket in a cremation plot, scattering the ashes in a garden of remembrance, or having the family take the ashes to a place of personal significance.

For example, my father’s ashes were scattered along a scenic part of the twice-daily walking route he shared with his beloved dog. The choice of burial or cremation is deeply personal and often influenced by individual preferences, cultural beliefs, and the desire for a meaningful tribute.

Implications of Burial

From my personal observations, people who have their relatives buried often feel an obligation to visit the graveside and feel a sense of guilt if they do not. This sense of duty can be seen in the regular visits to the cemetery to tend to the flowers and clean the memorial stones. This act of maintaining the grave site is a way to honor the memory of the loved one.

For my father, visiting where his ashes were scattered brought a different kind of closeness. There were no flowers to tend or a headstone to clean, just a peaceful view of Weymouth and Portland, a location that brought him peace and serenity during his twilight years. This experience is vastly different from visiting a grave, where there is a flicker of familiarity with the ground that was once walked. Visiting a graveside can be a moment of reflection, but the absence of a physical presence can sometimes make it more reflective.

Eco-Friendly Considerations

Another downside to traditional burial is the space it requires. Each plot takes up 4ft by 7ft of land, with a 4ft path between alternate rows, and headstones that are back to back. For a growing global population, it makes sense to consider options that use less space, such as scattering ashes. Ashes take up only 1/28th of the space required for burial, and scattering does not require any dedicated space, whether there is a brass plaque or not. You will be remembered by those you touched during your life, either in a garden of remembrance or in a place that has significant meaning to you.

Scattering my father’s ashes along the coastal path was a tribute to the peace and beauty that the ocean and dog walking brought him, even when his cancer had put an end to his active life. The serenity of the coastal path provided a source of joy, even during his final days. The scenery and the love for his dog embodied the tranquility and contentment he experienced. Walking together with him, even after his diagnosis, brought a sense of peace and happiness.

The Importance of the Ceremony

It is important to hold a ceremony after death because it gives family and friends a chance to gather and share their collective thoughts and memories of the person who has passed. It is a time to celebrate the joy that individual brought into their lives and say a final farewell to their physical presence. This ceremony can be a moment of reflection and healing for those left behind, providing a sense of closure and continuity.

In conclusion, the choice between burial and cremation is a deeply personal one, influenced by various factors such as cultural beliefs, space concerns, and the desire for a meaningful tribute. Whether a traditional burial or a more modern scattering, the act of honoring the deceased through a ceremony is essential for the soul of those left behind to find peace and continuity.