Understanding Marriages in Japan: Traditional Expectations and Modern Changes
Understanding Marriages in Japan: Traditional Expectations and Modern Changes
Marriage in Japan is often shrouded in traditional expectations that have been passed down through generations. Although I have not personally experienced marriage in Japan, I have heard from various sources about the societal norms and roles assigned to Japanese men and women in relation to marriage. This article aims to provide insights into the typical roles expected from Japanese men and women, changes in these expectations, and the impact on marriage rates.
Traditional Expectations in Japanese Marriages
The act of marrying in Japan is described by the verb 'totsugu,' which means 'to enter into another family.' This term signifies the formal incorporation of a woman into her husband's family and often involves cultural ceremonies and obligations.
Typically, a married Japanese woman is expected to:
Take Care of Elder Parents: Historically, the expectation has been that a wife will care for her husband's elderly parents. However, this responsibility is not always solely on the wife, as siblings and extended family members can contribute to the care. Some couples have arranged child exchanges where their grandchildren take care of the parents, in exchange for care when they become less mobile.
Raise Children: Women are expected to raise children as stay-at-home mothers while their husbands work long hours. This practice is referred to as 'one-ope,' a short term for 'one-person operation,' emphasizing a single person operating the family without much external help. This trend highlights the traditional gender roles in Japanese society, where women are expected to prioritize family care over career.
Perform Domestic Duties: Women are also expected to handle domestic responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, and other household tasks. The transition into married life often involves a shift in responsibilities, with women taking on a more active role in managing the household.
Occasionally, men may choose to live with their fiancées' families, a practice known as 'mukoyoshi.' In such cases, the woman's family will retain her surname, indicating she remains part of her original family even as she lives with her new spouse. Conversely, when a woman moves into her husband's family, she typically changes her surname to his, reflecting the societal norm of women adopting their husband's family name.
Shifts and Modern Changes
Recent trends have shown a move toward more Western-style marriages, where both partners work full-time to support the household income. This shift means that women are now expected to work full-time alongside raising children and taking care of the elderly. The increasing number of women in the workforce has led to fewer opportunities for them to marry Japanese men, contributing to declining marriage rates in Japan.
There is a perception that men consider marriage a chain, but in reality, the burden is shared. The pressures and responsibilities of marriage extend to both partners, and the changes in expectations may reflect a need for more shared responsibilities and mutual support.
Additionally, workplace bullying in Japan often targets singles more severely than married individuals, adding to the pressure for women to marry regardless of their personal desires or lack of joy in marriage.
Modern Expectations and Impacts
Japanese society's approach to marriage is more accountable than in many Western cultures. For instance, if a single woman in Japan becomes pregnant, societal pressure is placed on the man to either assist with an abortion or marry her. This accountability, regardless of gender, is a notable aspect of Japanese marriage practices.
Another positive aspect is the relative unpopularity of prenuptial agreements. Unlike in Western societies, Japanese couples generally do not opt for prenups, emphasizing a different form of trust and commitment.
In conclusion, while traditional expectations still play a significant role in Japanese marriages, the changing landscape and the increasing burden of societal expectations have led to shifts in how both men and women perceive and approach marriage. Understanding these changes can provide valuable insights for individuals and policymakers looking to support healthy and fulfilling relationships in Japan.
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