Living to 80s and 90s: Lessons from a Life Well Lived

Age isn't just a number; it's a testament to the quality of life one has led. So, what is the secret to living to 80s and 90s without experiencing anything 'really bad' or traumatic? According to a simple yet powerful '4S' rule, it all boils down to making smart choices: not going to dangerous places at dangerous times, not hanging out with toxic people, and not doing risky things.

The Power of Resilience

Firstly, these individuals come from a generation that understands and accepts that life is a series of challenges. They don't whine or complain at every setback. What is remarkable is how they transform adversities into opportunities. Unlike many, they don't consider themselves victims or think 'why me?' instead, they believe in dealing with what life throws at them and moving forward. They are resilient, having faced significant hardships such as wars, financial crises, and personal losses, yet they choose to focus on the good.

Case Study: Harry and Mary

I once knew a couple, Harry and Mary, both in their nineties. They were wartime veterans and had their parents killed in the First World War. Although they had lost loved ones and experienced trauma, they never spoke of it. They were content with their lives, focusing on the positive aspects rather than dwelling on losses. For example, my friend Harry had been in an accident during the war, resulting in injuries and a prolonged recovery. Yet, he stayed optimistic and positive, attributing his good life to the resilience they both had.

Another Hardened Individual: My Dad

My dad, now in his eighties, was born just before the Second World War. His childhood was marked by various hardships, including a bombed-out London street, evacuation to a place where he faced terrifying situations, and being severely beaten. He was also sent to prison at a young age. Despite all this, my dad is one of the sweetest and kindest men I know. He cares deeply about his family and his future, not his past. He sees the glass as half full, always finding the good in life rather than the bad.

Generational Perspective and Health

The younger generation often thinks that every little thing that happens to them is traumatic or awful. There is a TV show, AE's '24 Hours in AE,' which often features elderly patients only coming in when they are at their worst. They claim they didn't see a doctor earlier because 'they didn't want to be a nuisance.' In contrast, younger people often rush to the emergency room over trivial issues. This trend of the 'victim mentality' seems fashionable but is unhelpful for personal growth and societal health.

Education and Resilience

So, how can we equip the younger generation to face life's challenges with resilience and positivity? We need to teach them to see life as a series of opportunities to learn and grow. When faced with adversity, the key is to move on, evolve, and make the best of the situation. This not only benefits the individual but also society as a whole.

Parents and teachers should instill the idea that while life can be hard, it is how we respond to challenges that truly defines us. Encourage children to grow from their experiences, fostering a positive mindset rather than one of victimhood. By doing so, we can create a generation that is not only resilient but also happier and more fulfilled.