Living as a Foreign Woman Married to a Saudi Man: Cultural Adjustments and Realities

Marriage to a Saudi man can be a unique and enriching experience for a foreign woman, but it also comes with cultural challenges that require significant adjustment. Beyond religious differences, there are numerous customs and expectations that impact your everyday life and the overall dynamics of the relationship.

Family and Social Dynamics

In Saudi culture, family is the cornerstone of society. The extended family, composed of numerous siblings, cousins, and other relatives, holds a significant place in daily life. This means that your life as a foreign wife will be deeply intertwined with your in-laws, and you will need to work on building a strong relationship with them.

Getting to know the family and understanding their values and expectations before the marriage is crucial. This includes observing how your husband interacts with his family members. Their behavior and attitudes can give you insight into how he might treat you in the future. For instance, if he respects and supports his sisters or treats his parents with care, it bodes well for how he might treat you.

Family Responsibilities and Rights

In Saudi Arabia, the law prioritizes the rights of the father in custody and marriage, which can pose challenges for a non-Saudi wife. Male relatives often play a significant role in decision-making, especially regarding major family matters. Divorce and custody cases are governed by Sharia law, which can differ significantly from Western legal systems. Understanding these laws and your rights beforehand is crucial for maintaining your peace of mind and protecting your interests.

Cultural Expectations and Societal Norms

Foreign women often face a steep learning curve when it comes to understanding and adhering to Saudi cultural norms. For instance, modesty is highly valued, and women are expected to dress conservatively. Public spaces, including beaches, may have strict dress codes. Walking around in jeans and a t-shirt or wearing a bikini on the beach is not acceptable. This may require adapting your wardrobe and way of life, which can be challenging but also rewarding.

Furthermore, Saudi men are generally more traditional and conservative compared to their Western counterparts. They may not appreciate a flirty or overly flirtatious demeanor, as it is considered inappropriate. Modesty and modest dress are essential in Saudi society, and you must respect and comply with these norms to be accepted by the community.

Language and Cultural Immersion

Becoming fluent in Arabic can greatly enhance your integration into Saudi culture. Not only will it help you communicate more effectively with your husband and family, but it will also make you more culturally integrated. English may still be widely spoken, but knowing Arabic shows respect and a willingness to adapt to the local culture. You will be more accepted by the community and feel more like an insider.

Personal Experiences and Adjustments

My own experience with a Saudi husband, though filled with both challenges and joys, demonstrates that such marriages can work if both partners are open to understanding and respecting each other's backgrounds. Personal sacrifice and a deep commitment to the marriage are key. For instance, I found that focusing on my husband and his family's happiness was more important than personal desires. I wore clothing that respected their values and built a strong, supportive relationship with his family. My husband and I are still close friends, and I deeply respect him as both a kind and brilliant person.

While there are certainly upsides to marriage with a Saudi man, such as the rich cultural experiences and the strong support of the extended family, there are also significant adjustments to be made. Balancing cultural differences, understanding legal rights, and adapting to societal norms can be challenging. If these aspects are unimportant to you or not something you are willing to embrace, you may find it difficult to thrive in a marriage with a Saudi man.

Ultimately, the decision to marry a Saudi man involves careful consideration of your personal values, goals, and willingness to adapt to a new cultural environment. The sacrifices required may be worth it for some, but it is essential to enter into the marriage with a clear understanding of what that means for your future.