Embracing Personal Choice: Why Women Shouldnt Be Forced to Change Their Surnames After Marriage
Embracing Personal Choice: Why Women Shouldn't Be Forced to Change Their Surnames After Marriage
For generations, the tradition of women changing their surnames after marriage has been deeply embedded in many cultures around the world. However, in the era of modern feminism, this longstanding practice is facing a critical examination. Feminism, at its core, is about self-realization as an individual human being, and it is imperative that we re-evaluate such traditions to ensure they do not perpetuate gender biases or reflect outdated societal norms.
The Core of Feminism
Feminism is not about seeking superiority over men, but rather achieving equality. It is about respecting each other as equals, regardless of gender. Women are equal to men in every aspect, and any tradition that suggests otherwise undermines this fundamental principle. The practice of changing one's surname after marriage can be seen as a remnant of a time when women were considered subordinate to men, which is no longer the case in the modern world.
Marriage: A Relationship, Not a Contract
Marriage is a relationship built on love and mutual respect, not a contract where one partner unilaterally agrees to everything the other says. The idea that a woman must change her surname because it is demanded by her husband disregards the essence of a marriage as a partnership. Each partner brings unique strengths and perspectives to the relationship, and neither should be viewed as depended on the other.
Modern Identity and Multiple Surnames
With the increasing acceptance of diverse cultural backgrounds and identities, it is becoming more common for individuals to have multiple surnames. For instance, individuals may combine their family surnames to create a new identity. This not only simplifies identification but also acknowledges the contributions of both families. Changing a surname is often viewed as a personal choice, aimed at making one's identity clear and distinct.
Challenging Stereotypes: The Surname Change Myth
It is often argued that changing a surname after marriage reflects a woman's dependence on her husband. This notion is rooted in outdated beliefs about gender roles and the transfer of responsibility and rights. Historically, the concept of a "surname change" stems from a belief that once a daughter is married, her legal and social responsibilities transfer to her new family. However, in the modern context, there is no inherent legal or social obligation for this to happen. The practice of changing a surname is more about tradition and personal preference than about dependency.
The ceremony of Kanya-danam, where a daughter is gifted to a suitable groom, can be seen as a poignant reminder of the historical transfer of responsibilities. However, this tradition does not justify or necessitate a change in one's legal surname. Instead, it should be viewed as a cultural practice that honors and respects the roles each family plays in the life of the newly married couple.
Conclusion
Changing one's surname after marriage is a personal choice, and it should not be forced. The decision to keep one's maiden name or adopt a dual surname should be a reflection of individual preference and identity. As we continue to move towards a more egalitarian society, it is crucial to re-examine such traditions and ensure they align with the principles of equality and mutual respect that underpin modern feminism. Each person's identity should be celebrated, and the tradition of changing one's surname after marriage can and should be adapted to reflect this new reality.